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Control Freak

If my station is tidy and my shelving is in order, then I can proceed. Circumstances have to be just right. I must be precise. I must be ready. I can’t have any distractions.

Before I learned how to let go, before meditation, I had control issues. As a young man, my need for control began morphing into scheduling/productivity techniques that felt justified and right-minded. In a time of added stressors, striving to control environmental circumstances was a necessity. I was living life from a place of insecurity.

Through the meditative practices of Reiki, Qi Gong and Tai Chi, I have learned to trust in spontaneity. I have learned to accept more and prefer less. Each of these practices taught me how to reinforce confidence. Confidence in my position, my opinion, my connection. Take Qi Gong for example, a practice that teaches us how to embrace the environment and all of the elements. As well, Reiki shows us connection beyond separatist belief systems. And then there is Tai Chi, a discipline that develops efficient and harmonious methods of movement.

Obviously there is much more to each discipline than what is summarized above. Point is, all these practices are related on a fundamental level. Meditation, Qi Gong, Tai Chi & Reiki reinforce a position of reassurance. A position that allows us to let go and naturally give in.

Although I have broken free from this illusion of order and control, I am still sensitive to its workings. I know where it lives and it knows me. Day in and day out we have to ask ourselves, ‘Are we making decisions from a place of insecurity, or a place of reassurance?’