In California it became clear as day. My go-to mode of operation, triggered by all the familiar features, is no longer working for me. Heavily reinforced techniques that take hold when I go unconscious (aka autopilot, aka habitual), are in the way of what I want. In a split second with the right surroundings I can become 15 years old again.
My recent trip to California, as well as the cottage up north with my in-laws, showed me how obvious it is. Am I conscious or unconscious? It’s that simple.
I am so much more alive and in the drivers seat of my life when I recognize who I am and act in accordance with it. Old habits die hard and maintaining my position, my knowledge of self, is my only road to freedom. When I am conscious I have perspective. Without perspective I can only see what is right in front of me.