Control Freak

If my station is tidy and my shelving is in order, then I can proceed. Circumstances have to be just right. I must be precise. I must be ready. I can’t have any distractions.

Before I learned how to let go, before meditation, I had control issues. As a young man, my need for control began morphing into scheduling/productivity techniques that felt justified and right-minded. In a time of added stressors, striving to control environmental circumstances was a necessity. I was living life from a place of insecurity.

Through the meditative practices of Reiki, QiGong and Tai Chi, I have learned to trust in spontaneity. I have learned to accept more and prefer less. Each of these practices taught me how to reinforce confidence. Confidence in my position, my opinion, my connection. Take QiGong for example, a practice that teaches us how to embrace the environment and all of the elements. As well, Reiki shows us connection beyond separatist belief systems. And then there is Tai Chi, a discipline that develops efficient and harmonious methods of movement.

Obviously there is much more to each discipline than what is summarized above. Point is, all these practices are related on a fundamental level. Meditation, QiGong, Tai Chi & Reiki reinforce a position of reassurance. A position that allows us to let go and naturally give in.

Although I have broken free from this illusion of order and control, I am still sensitive to its workings. I know where it lives and it knows me. Day in and day out we have to ask ourselves, ‘Are we making decisions from a place of insecurity, or a place of reassurance?’