I didn’t want to write a blog on the difficulties of parenting, but here I am.
So for those of you who didn’t know, I am the proud father of two boys, a 2 1/2 year old and a 2 month old. Becoming a father is a true blessing indeed. But ever since the birth of my youngest, life has been difficult to say the least.
Sleep, meaning our lack of it, has been the major issue. We just can’t seem to get enough sleep these days. Long story short, my youngest doesn’t sleep very well. On good nights we can manage to get in 2 hours uninterrupted before he cracks it. But most nights we are constantly being awoken. Its highly frustrating as well as heartbreaking to watch our little boy suffer so. He is currently having digestive difficulties that doctors, wizards, latte enthusiasts, and even Google cant fix.
When sleep goes, everything goes. The time I used to have to myself is no longer. If I am not working or cleaning or wrestling my 2 year old into a snowsuit, I am holding my new baby who just can’t seem to get comfortable.
But don’t get me wrong, this ain’t a pity party. It’s a reality check.
I teach people how to be calmer, stronger, and more adaptable to stressors. Then I started having kids, and someone, somewhere is having a big laugh now.
So what’s the solution? More time on my meditation cushion? Should I go back to doing QiGong at 5:30am to keep steady?
Nope. Don’t got time for that anymore. The practice has changed. It had to change.
My meditations now are part of getting breakfast ready. Diaper changes, bedtime routines, toddler tantrums, car seat crying fits, these are my focus now. No more lovely mountain tops with poetic instruction in broken English for how to be one with my environment. Toys thrown across my floor like land mines of forgotten warfare, my life is now a jungle of madness with two cute munchkins calling all the shots.
My practice has now come full circle. I have brought back basic breathing techniques with attention on what is, rather than what is not. I focus on the present with all the beauty that it gives and try not to quickly leap from the idea of now being forever.
Talk about a reality check.